premise and ideas dump and goodbyes
by Christian Maulkner
Summary: an update on what the hell happened to me and a premise and ideas dump for you guys to use to your heart's content (with credits, of course)


so, where the fuck have i been for so many months?

simply put, i quit, a long time ago. there are a few reasons why.

firstly, i lost interest in the show. to be honest, the only reason i was writing fanfiction for this trash heap of a show was because i liked shipping jaune with others. that's about it, really. i never really watched past beyond vol. 2 and never intended to after hearing just how bad the show got further on. it felt like even if i watched with expectations as low as the deepest circle of hell, i would still find myself disappointed.

so yeah, show sucks, and unless rt cuts out all the lesbian fuckfest they got going on and focus on actually making a show, don't expect me to come back in a very long while.

secondly, irl stuff. i've recently gotten into senior high under stem, so you can figure out how that's going for me. i've also gotten into doing art and in the process of learning stuff. it's actually pretty fun.

and thirdly (and this a pretty minor one), there's not that much interesting fanfiction anymore that isn't just al'aran and the usual bunch. all i see now are just reaction fics, self-insert "donut steel" ocs, super edgy shit, the rare shitpost or two, and endless heaps of lesbian kissy-kissy fingerbanging.

(and why the fuck is pollination a thing? are you so craving of your lesbian fantasies that you have to ship them all together? degenerates, i swear...)

so yeah, that's why i quit.

"wtf you just left us for months and told us you quit a long time ago? what about salem's servant? what the fuck? god, go fucking kill yourself you autistic, homophobic waste of semen. REEEEEEEEEEEE"

first off, i sexually identify myself as more of a downie, thank you ver much. and secondly, ;don't worry, i'm not that cruel. i may not be able to give this in a neat pretty ribbon of prose and fancy words, but at least i'll be able to tell you how i envisioned salem's servant, or kindness and the witch in the revision, would go.

(warning: this is the latest outline i could find. there's probably a more updated one somewhere on my laptop, but since i'm posting from a phone, it's early morning and i have school tomorrow, i honestly can't be bothered right now. but once i have the time, i'll try to find a much later one and post it here as a seperate chapter)

(this version of the outline, plot-wise, may also suck ass. you've been warned)

* * *

\- Salem finds Jaune in her manor and captures him.

\- Salem and her companions decide what to do with Jaune.

\- After a few days, Salem decides to let Jaune roam free under the condition that he would basically be servant.

\- Salem gets a rude letter from Cinder, revealing her role as arch-rival.

\- Jaune starts fixing up the manor and making friends in Salem's companions. Here, he starts learning more about Salem's life.

\- Salem gets angry at Jaune for basically intruding in her life and starts to hate him even more.

\- One night, Salem tries to stab Jaune in his sleep, but breaks down and fails. Upon Jaune waking up, she asks for some tea and they go to the dining room.

\- While sipping some tea, Salem starts questioning Jaune's willingness to stay and help, while Jaune questions her hatred towards humans.

\- After their talk, Jaune dedicates himself to being Salem's friend and making her see that humans aren't bad at all, much to her chagrin.

\- Jaune starts hanging out with Salem more, helping her, teaching her how to do things like cooking and stuff, and basically being her assistant. Salem gets somewhat annoyed at this, but eventually warms up to him.

\- During a trip to Vale for groceries, Jaune bumps into Pyrrha. Jaune develops a small crush on her.

\- Vytal Festival arrives.

\- Jaune develops a temporary transmogrification potion to aid Salem in attending the Festival. But Salem breaks down once she sees her face in the mirror, forcing Jaune out of her room from her anger. After a while, things calm down, and Salem reluctantly decides to come to the Festival.

\- Jaune and Salem attend the Festival. Salem finds herself having fun with Jaune. Ends in obligatory dance.

\- At the end of the night, Salem reluctantly opens up about her past to Jaune. Jaune, as always, cheers Salem up, and they officially declare themselves as friends. Their night ends in fireworks.

\- In the shadows nearby, a hooded Cinder finds out about Salem's new friend and leaves.

\- A week or so after the festival, Jaune goes to Vale for some materials to build Tenebris a new 'doghouse'. There, he meets with Pyrrha once again. The two have some lunch and chat. Jaune asks for them to meet up again, and Pyrrha agrees. (Here is the start of some rainstorm for Joanne's arrival)

\- Going home to the manor, Salem questions Jaune's tardiness. Jaune talks about Pyrrha, announces their next meeting, and leaves Salem with a hint of jealousy and suspicion.

\- Later that night, Joanne, Jaune's little sister who has been searching for her older brother, stumbles upon Salem's manor and gets captured by her companions.

\- After some talking, Jaune and Salem decide to keep Joanne in the manor until the rain lets up.

\- Jaune, Salem and her companions take care and have fun with Joanne. Salem sees herself having kids again.

\- Later that night, Salem dreams of having a family with Jaune.

\- Pyrrha, leading a brigade of knights, attack a witch's hideout (a cave). Most of them die, but eventually, they manage to take the witch down. They find a cavern full of aurashrooms, what they were looking for. (Here, they manage to capture the witch's assistant)

\- The raining stops. Jaune, Salem and the others take Joanne home, stopping at the egde of the village. Joanne says her goodbyes and leaves.

\- Jaune hangs out with Pyrrha in Vale. They eat, chase some criminals down, and Pyrrha shows him the Knights' HQ. Back in the manor, Salem waits for him with pint of worry and jealousy.

\- After his hang-out with Pyrrha, Jaune goes back to the manor at the dead of night and meets Cinder. Salem comes down and confronts her. Cinder gives them an invitation to the Bi-Annual Witches and Dark Wizards Ball and leaves. Jaune questions who that was, but Salem dismisses his question, questions his tardiness again, and they both go to sleep.

\- Jaune and Pyrrha hang out again. Pyrrha invites Jaune to the execution of the dead witch's assistant. After which, Jaune leave, his mind now wondering if it's a good idea to stay with Salem.

\- Back at the manor, Jaune asks Salem if she would let him die if he was ever caught by knights. Salem assures him that she wouldn't. When Jaune leaves reassured, she ponders on the invitation she got, and decides to go to the Ball.

\- The night of the Ball arrives. Salem and Jaune go to the Ball, running into Cinder, who keeps flirting and driving Jaune away from Salem. This angers Salem, who confronts Cinder. An argument breaks out, ending with the two fighting and ruining the Ball. In the chaos, Jaune manages to drag Salem away, and the two escape.

\- Jaune and Salem return to the manor. Jaune questions the reason of her outburst, and Salem basically confesses her feelings. After getting some reassurance that she wouldn't let him get hurt, they kiss.

\- The next day, Jaune decides to call his thing with Pyrrha off. At the end of the day after another hang-out, Jaune calls his thing with Pyrrha off. Pyrrha is saddened, but understands, giving him a kiss. Jaune leaves and Pyrrha enters the Knight's Barracks.

\- Pyrrha gets stopped by a hooded Cinder, who tips her about Jaune.

\- Jaune arrives back at the manor, and decides to stay up for a little bit, taking a walk into the forest. Unfortunately, Vale's Knights arrive, capture Jaune, and set the manor ablaze. Salem and the others manage to wake up and escape.

\- The next morning, the fire has died down. Salem travels to the cellars and finds her vial of Grimm formula. She declares to get revenge.

\- Jaune is in prison, waiting execution. Pyrrha visits him, questioning why he did what he did. After that, he gets a visit from a hooded Cinder, who reveals that she was the one who tipped the knights off. Jaune gets angry at her. They then hear the sounds of Salem's attack. Cinder leaves.

\- Salem wreaks havoc throughout Vale and heads for the Castle of Vale.

\- Ren and the others find Jaune and help him escape. Jaune decides to go after Salem, thinking he could try to talk her down. After equipping himself, he bumps into Pyrrha outside. Pyrrha stops him for a moment, but after some convincing, she lets him go, but won't help him and continue on helping citizens.

\- Salem continues to wreak havoc at the castle. She's stopped by knights. They fire their aurashroom-laced arrows, she tries to stop them, but gets hit by an arrow, making her weak. They continue to fire their arrows, but Salem manages to escape to the rooftop. There, she's confronted by Cinder, who intends to finish her.

\- But Jaune arrives to stop her. They fight, and Jaune eventually defeats her. He runs to an injured Salem, doing his best to nurse her wounds. He convinces her to run away, her calling a Nevermore to her aid. She whispers something to the Nevermore before flying off, along with Ren and the others.

\- Jaune scales his way down the ruined castle. He breaks an ankle, but continues to traverse through the ruined city. Pyrrha sees him and runs after him all the way to the ourskirts of Vale. There, they confront each other. They talk - Pyrrha, thinking he truly loves Salem, has a change of heart and allows him to escape. They agree to cut ties for a long time.

\- Some time passes, and Jaune arrives at Salem's now ruined manor. After traversing and reminiscing, Jaune finds a note, detailing Salem's whereabouts.

\- Jaune travels to a mountain the note detailed. There, he meets up with Salem and the others.

\- Epilogue. Back at Ansel, Joanne sees a news board that tells her that Pyrrha is fighting to give witches some rights. She then receives a letter from Jaune, who tells her he's fine and to tell their mom that he simply moved to another kingdom.

\- Jaune and Salem are now living in a remote farmhouse with Ren and the others, a newborn baby and with another on the way.

* * *

so yeah, that's it really. once again, this is the latest draft of the outline i could find, i honestly have no idea if there's an updated one somewhere in this virtual clothes pile. i'll try to post it if i find one.

and now here's a premise dump. these are all the premises i've had stored in a text file somewhere that i was going to use in stories before i, well, quit. since i almost have no use for them anymore, i putting these out here so that maybe some of you people can make use of them.

as you can guess, most of these are jaune-centric

* * *

Arc of the Seas

\- Jaune, an underpaid worker for a rich family in Ansel, wanted to be an adventurer of the seas. He wanted to discover new lands, uncover hidden treasures, and feel the freedom of smelling that salty sea smell, just like his father had. So, when he had heard of a ship of "adventurers" ready to sail the next day, he took the chance and snuck on. Unfortunately, come morning, he found out that he had just snuck onto a pirate ship, sailing to parts unknown to him. Fortunately, this weird, ragtag group of pirates were kind enough to have him tag along. Questions rung around his mind though. Like why was there a talking shark? And why was half of the group beautiful girls?

* * *

Multiple Personality Disorder

\- Jaune had unlocked his semblance at a very young age. The problem? His semblance causes him to change into one of four different personalities, which also changes his appearance, memories, and physique. He has no control over it, and has no recollection on anything his personalites did when he changes back. When he manages to get accepted into Beacon through fake transcripts he got - thanks to one of his personalites - he thought his semblance wouldn't get any worse. But he'll soon find out the utter chaos his other personalites can cause. From girls going heads over heels for one of his personalites, to the entire criminal underworld hunting him down, the trouble never ends.

[Proposed pesonalities: Troublemaker, super angsty and emo but strongest of the five, flirter/latin-type romantic, a dog faunus who acts like an actual dog played for jokes and gags]

* * *

The World of Remnant: Tales of The Worst Team To Ever Exist

\- Jaune's shut-in life ended at 17. Getting transported to a white void and meeting Weiss, his guardian angel, was quite surprising. Gettting told he was destined to travel to a world called Remnant and defeat Salem, the Queen of Grimm, was even more so. Jaune had one problem though: Remnant was tough as nails, and Weiss wouldn't stop bitching and moaning about being dragged along with him. Looks like defeating Salem would have to wait a bit. [Heavily inspired by KonoSuba]

ruby = clumsy weapons nut

yang = brazen flirter who likes to drink a lot and get into trouble

weiss = a bitch

blake = very much concerned that she's still a virgin even though she denies it

* * *

Ice Cream, Sign Language, and Ruthless Criminals

\- Instead of all-time tournament champion Pyrrha Nikos, Jaune gets a mute, ice-cream-loving sadist named Neo as his partner. Now the blonde knight has to deal with Neo's antics and general rudeness towards him every day, whether it be during training or in the classroom. But something's amiss about the mute. Why does she keep sneaking out at night? And who's that orange-haired man in her locket?

* * *

Unnamed Fem!Cardin and Jaune Fic

\- Jaune had no idea why Carmin bullied him so much. As far as he could recall, he never did anything to her that could make her so spiteful. All he normally did was hang out with Team RWBY and train with Pyrrha. So why was she picking on him every time they meet? Why does she keep glaring at him whenever he hung out with the girls? And... wait... was she just wearing one of his hoodies?

[i intended carmin to be less racist and dickish only to jaune so that it would make somewhat more sense]

* * *

The Synth and the Gunslinger

\- Jaune Arc was many things: an orphan, a nomad, and most especially loner. But all his life, he never thought of himself as a caretaker, let alone a caretaker for a slightly rusted, synthetic combat robot. However, when he's dragged into the fray of a continent wide manhunt, Jaune and his new robot companion Penny must travel across the sandy dunes of Vacuo in search of the notorious Roman Torchwick and bring him to justice, whether peacefully or with a pull of a trigger. Never had Jaume expected he'd become a gunslinging bounty hunter.

[was going to be a book series similar to forged destiny, each book with a villain from the show as the main "criminal"]

* * *

Silence Not Guaranteed

\- Jaune had lived a peaceful life as a librarian for years now, and he had been hoping it would stay that way. Unfortunately, Lady Luck had turned a blind eye on him and guided a cloaked, and admittedly beautiful blonde woman (Glynda) to his humble abode. Thanks to a bunch of crazed cultists, now he has to go and help stop the impending doom that is Salem, the Queen of dark creatures named Grimm, with a little help from an ancient book that can summon the spirits of warriors of old known as Huntsmen (Team RWBY and co.). What did he do to deserve any of this?

* * *

Team JNR's Firm of Supernatural Investigations

\- Although Remnant is in a time of relative peace thanks to extinction of Grimm and their queen, the supernatural now roams the world as a result, free to cause chaos whenever. Together with his two best friends Ren and Nora, Jaune decides to open his own investigatory firm that specializes in dealing with the supernatural. Ghost hauntings, demons escaping from the Underworld, a vampire disease epidemic; you name it, they'll take care of it. Although, probably not that giant, 100 feet tall abomination that's currently terrorizing Vale.

* * *

Take Your Chocolates and Go On a Goddamn Date With Me

\- Valentine's Day has arrived to Remnant. A day of love, confessions, and romantic candlelight dinner. All his life, Jaune was never asked to be someone's Valentine, and he never bothered to ask anyone else out either. So when Carmin, his bully of all people, knocks on his door and ask him out on a date later that night, Jaune wondered if Nora had put something in his breakfast, or if his mind was just really, really desperate.

* * *

Remnant: The Dating Simulator

\- Jaune thought he was good at video games. So when he got reincarnated into Remnant with the powers of the "Ultra Mega Super Elite G4m3R", he thought his time here would be easy. He's instantly belied when heart meters began appearing, and he quickly realized that he's now stuck in a dating sim. He's a kissless virgin, how was he supposed to survive a dating sim?! (A satirical attempt on the whole "Gamer" trope)

[I had this meta joke written where, when Yang and Blake are alone outside Salem's domain waiting for Jaune, that a bumblebee would land on Yang's finger and she would say: "Why do I feel like someone's making a really bad lesbian joke?"]

* * *

Growing Up and Moving On

\- Jaune wanted to leave his comic-hero-obssesed side in the past, and hopefully this summer vacation would help him grow up. But after bumping into a crimson girl dressed up as a heroine at the train station, Jaune's going to have to try harder, especially when that little brat is his summer neighbor. Little did he know though, little red Ruby would change his summer into one worth remembering. [Heavily inspired by Chuunibyou]

* * *

Growing Up and Moving On: Closure

\- Ren never knew his parents, having been put in foster care when he was a baby. Years later, he finds out a bubbly girl named Nora might hold the key to who and where his parents are. Alongside Jaune, Ruby and Nora, the four of them will embark on a roadtrip across the country to find the closure Ren has been seeking for years. And hopefully, Nora will too...

* * *

Father of Seven

\- An explosive accident in Dust class manages to turn Teams RWBY and JNPR into eight year olds, minus Jaune. With the help of a certain rabbit faunus, the blonde knight now has to take care of these bundles of fun and trouble while trying to find a way to bring them all back. "As if having seven sisters hadn't been bad enough..."

* * *

Valean Idiot [Oneshot]

\- Jaune discovers a certain album at a record shop one day and decides to give it a listen. Things don't go so well afterwards. Who knew Vale had a massive surplus of eyeliners and stencils? [based on the time i went through my punk phase after listening to american idiot for the first time. oof.]

* * *

Please Don't Bully Me, Xiao-Long!

\- Jaune Arc, assistant to the school's librarian and avid bookworm, has a problem in the form of one Yang Xiao-Long, a brazen blonde who likes to tease him on a daily basis. This story follows these two as they form an unlikely friendship through endless teasing and raging hormones. And perhaps... even a hint of something else.

[guess what inspired this]

* * *

The Tree Stump Tavern

\- Jaune's mother had once owned a roadside tavern - a childhood memory, as bizarre as some were. And after her death, he opted to give the old place a makeover and run it as its new owner. However, he'll soon find out his childhood memories weren't products of his juvenile imagination, as all sorts of bizarre people and oddities, both old and new, come and visit the tavern for a round of drinks. Never had he thought he'd be serving drinks to mythical creatures...

* * *

Search Party

\- Ever since they said their last goodbyes, Emerald had been searching for the knight that'd saved her when no one would. That had been so many years ago. Now she was here in Beacon, and never had she thought her life-long search would finally end in this place. But it's only the search that ended; now comes the contact.

[kinda never thought this one through enough]

[emerald x jaune obviously]

[Team REMN (Remnant): Roman T., Emerald S., Mercury B., Neo]

* * *

The Team REMN Chronicles

\- Team REMN: the first year Beacon team composed of a flamboyant Roman Torchwick, a nimble Emerald Sustrai, a sleazy Mercury Black, and a sadistic Neo. This amalgamation of snippets follows them as they go through their pretty bizarre school life, making friends and throwing banters along the way.

[was supposed to be similar to Staffroom Chronicles by Couer]

* * *

Safety First!

\- After the Forever Fall debacle, Jaune has to unfortunately report to Professor Peach every after class and basically be her assistant for the rest of the semester. Completely bullcrap. But, he'll soon find out just why the enigmatic professor needed assistance - closing a dimensional tear whilst a giant alien monster's trying to squeeze through isn't a one man job.

[peach x jaune maybe?]

* * *

A Rose In The Wasteland

\- Remnant has fallen, nothing but a lifeless wasteland where Grimm roam free. Jaune was left all alone to wander aimlessly - his friends and family either dead or dying. But despite it all, there is a sparkle of hope; a rose amongst the wasteland in the form of knowledge of a safe haven somewhere, and the chance meeting of a friend he thought he would never see again. [Ruby and Jaune]

* * *

The Bonding of Blunt and Blade

\- Jaune and Nora's love lives are, to put it simply, utter disasters. Both were rejected by their would-be lovers, leaving them torn right down to the heart. But it's not the end of Remnant yet. After a much-needed comfort talk, the two became closer than they ever were before, creating a spark of a bond that would do a lot more than just mend their broken hearts.

[i actually wrote a few chapters of this already, but never finished them. they're very short, and probably buried somewhere in my files]

* * *

The Hero With A Taste For Suicide

\- Simply put, Jaune wanted to die. But it seemed that the world was against his ideas. After somehow being crowned the greatest hero of Remnant and getting all the women he could ever want, he was now sent on a mission to kill the Queen of Grimm. Some would suggest jumping off the nearest cliff or stabbing himself with a sword would do the trick. It could work... if his semblance wasn't regenerative immortality...

* * *

and that's about it. there may be more somewhere in a pastebin or something. if so, i might consider posting them. anyway, sorry to disappoint you guys after so long. hopefully this projectile vomit of premises and little ideas can ne made into something useful.

see you guys probably never.

~christian maulkner


End file.
